Multiplicity and Neurodivergence

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This blog is more for me than it is intended to have an audience. It is my way to express myself. 🤓

I don't care if you don't, but I would love it if you did like it 😁

Here is a summary of how our host feels sometimes:

The host

I am!

Different versions of me materialize through me

They become me, or I them, which is uncertain.

Sometimes there’s many, ebbing and flowing

sometimes there’s one,  just being.

I am!

When they are there and when they are not, I am

When they are there, I am them.

When they are not ... who am I?

Am I?


To help you navigate through the website, here are some tags:

  • Identity 101 is a diary/analysis that System 5 (2002-2022) wrote when he was becoming aware of our multiplicity. Prior to this, he was not unaware of it - it just was "normal" to him, so he never thought it needed analysing. However, at a point he recognised that his "complex" personality had little secrets in store for him. Here is his chronicle of his journey of self-discovery.

    ID 102 -   Identity 102 is a further analysis that delves deeper into our system. We wrote this while in the process of splitting earlier this year.  Neuro (System 6's host I think) was becoming more or less in charge at the time, but he had no control over what he wrote. This was a collective work, but we don't know who contributed. It is nonetheless interesting.

  • ID 103 - With multiplicity, as with everything else with me, awareness increases every second of every day.

    So, whatever I write, will tend to only apply until my personal growth surpasses its understanding.

    ID 103 is the new analysis. It is time sensitive and each chapters will have dates in different sections to detail when an understanding has been reached. This should enable to see progress and developments.

    ID 103 is a collective work. I don't really know who writes, or whose thoughts they are. The writing simply offers a consensus of all the parts that are sharing the now space at the time of writing. 

    If I had to describe it, it feels like many thoughts and ideas converging to a central point from different areas of my brain; as they merge they reach a consensus that I then type. I am uncertain whether this concept can be understood, but I can kind of see how it could happen in an artificial neural network, hence assume it is possible in a biological one.

  • The boy nobody loved, a book I am writing. It is fantasy based on fragments of memories.
  • Multiplicity - This will bring up anything related to multiplicity, so probably most posts
  • Neurodivergence - I am not sure how much neurodivergence plays a part in my multiplicity. But as I answer questions on quora, the subject comes up and it is interesting to connect different strands as I process them.
  • Resources - I'll try and add resources for multis ... they'll be labeled with this
  • Quora (opens in new tab) - I answer questions about multiplicity and about neurodivergence on quora, and this is my profile.
Location: London, UK

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ID 101 - 4: The voices

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We all have, at least, a little voice in our heads. While I was entangled in a mainstream reality, I interpreted these simply as the typical good voice / bad voice and attributed it to what everybody calls a conscience. As my spiritual awareness developed, these became more nuanced. Once we are introduced to concepts such as that of a Higher Self, an Eternal Soul, Spirit Guides, Spirit Teachers, and Spirits and Ancestors, the ideas of voices in the head becomes worthy of much more attention. Voices are not necessarily “voices”. They can be images, visions, sounds, feelings, “sensing”, smells, or almost anything at all. It is easy to see how easy it would be to misinterpret anything that comes out of our head/mind … a dream is not necessarily a premonition. It could be an expression of what happened to us, of our brain processing certain information. Similarly, a voice, can be created by our imagination. And everything we feel, hear, see, and whatnot is interpreted by the limited unders
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Quora - July 16, 2023: Complex systems

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Can someone with a polyfragmented system help explain it a bit more? We've looked it up, and usually the top results say polyfragmented systems are defined by a high alter count. Is this true, or is there more that goes into it? (We will be doing more research!) TW: Mention different types of abuse Ok, this is our theory of how complex systems work. This is based from talking to others as well as our own personal experience. Let’s start with the diagram. At the top level we have brain inputs/outputs. Below that we have conscious/unconscious, etc. Structural Dissociation creates an additional layer of consciousness that enables the separation between body (physical) consciousness, and other levels of consciousness. Then, we consider trauma that starts too early for any sensible degree of integration between action systems (see Theory of Structural Dissociation, a few references are available here: References ) This means that early on, instead of developing a single personality, a c
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Quora - July 26, 2023: Non-traumagenic systems

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 I am just going to talk hypothetically for fun, but can find some more detailed references here if needed  . So, Can someone develop DID without having gone through any specific trauma? I guess that depends on what your definition of DID/Dissociated identity is, and how you believe it is created as a disorder. From that it is possible to then derive whether there would non-traumagenic experiences comparable to traumagenic ones that could have created the dissociated selves. With the exception of PTSD, it is commonly accepted that all dissociative disorders originate early on during the developmental phases of human existence . It is also commonly believed that repeated trauma prevents the association of different action systems, and that we are born dissociated to start with . Internal Family System even asserts that everybody is in essence a multiple, although it is quick to call those sub-personality types, which is not quite the same as having different consciousness sharing the
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Diary - 2023, March 24

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No Name Everyone before me loved our first name. “The man” used it to hurt us and make us feel we were not even worthy of our name. “Pft … Angel … fallen angel more like … “ Or “You are not an angel, you’re the devil!” And “Those people who named you must have been out of their mind … angel … you make me laugh!” Without forgetting: “You have the devil in you …” and “You are possessed by demons!” And that was probably the reason why the boys loved their name. It was the only good thing that the biological parent gave him. Angels are a symbol of strength, and purity; they’re messengers of Love and Justice. So, every one of the boys loved that name. Especially 5. He felt it represented well his identity. And that it did. 5 was pretty much an Angel. Loving, but also not afraid of hate. Ying and Yang. Two sides of the same coin. Darkness and Light in one single package. He was very apt at managing this inner conflict. Good, within reason. Bad, within reason. His e
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