Quora - May 7, 2023: Depression

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What can you tell non-depressed people about people with depression? One of my selves writing about depression.

I wish they stopped calling it depression.

Depression is what people get when they run out of beer and the local shop is closed. Making coffee with the last drop of milk, and then pour the coffee on the cereals … that causes depression. Depression is when you missed the train to work and you have to wait 2 minutes for the next one. Oh my favourite team lost a match … I’m so depressed. Life is so depressing … password sharing on Netflix is not possible anymore …

I wish people understood that what they call “depression” is actually more likely to be comparable to desolation, resignation, psychospiritual existential emptiness. Nihilistic stoicism.

Hope for the best in the knowledge that realistically we can only expect the worst. An awareness that no matter how hard we work to attain moments of joys, they are in reality much more fleeting than one would desire.

They say that when people are “depressed” they do not enjoy even the things that were previously enjoyable. That is simply not true. Even in my most depressive states, I do enjoy what I enjoy. It is not about not feeling pleasure, it is about “what is the point?”.

What is the point of a few memorable moments when no matter how bright the sun shines days are just as dark as the scariest starless nights filled with demons and monsters? What is the point of a smile when around us there’s so much pain, so much fear, so many tears? What is the point of a beautiful sunset when life itself epitomises the depths of the bottomless pit of a living hell. What is the point of eating, and drinking, and keeping on living when life itself escapes our grasp? What is the point of loving someone when they will only hurt us and abandon us?

What is the point? And you are left with just one question: “Why”?

People use condoms, the pill, and so many other forms of contraception. There is the morning after pill. There is abortion. How many pregnancies are not initiated, or terminated? Why not me?

Why? What is the point? Over and over. incessantly.

Hoping that things will get better, knowing that they won’t.

I am one of the lucky ones. I am stubborn. I don’t die. I have too many people to upset. My oppositional defiant personality type ensures that I keep on going. I am a thriving survivor after all.

But many are not so lucky. Don’t call it depression. It is death waiting, sitting on the edge of sanity, watching closely, lingering …

Be kind, be loving, be respectful. 💜




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