Quora - May 21, 2023: Intentionally triggering flashbacks
Sometimes we try to intentionally trigger painful flashbacks. There are a number of reasons why that might be the case. It does depend on how one processed the trauma, and where one is on their healing journey. Here I am going to give you just one theory. 🙂
Background
So, let’s start by saying that it is now fully acknowledged that personalities are naturally made up of parts .
So, for example, let’s pretend that we find a person sexy, but we know they have a repulsive personality. Our decision of having sex with them depends on whether our horny part or our sensible one wins the internal debate.
However, these parts can actually take on lives of their own when we move on to trauma. Let’s start with the “basic” PTSD-inducing trauma, which causes primary dissociation .
During trauma, our part-system creates a new part to handle the trauma. A so called Emotional Part.
Now that part holds on to the all the neurological configuration at the time of the traumatic event. This includes details of moods, thoughts, state of mind, inner sensation, outer sensations, environmental condition, people, and all other details related to that. Please note that in a fragmented system this part will in fact be composed of a myriad of dissociated fragments/smaller parts.
What happens next is important in understanding how a traumatic event is upgraded to psychological trauma.
- If we have the opportunity to deal with it, mainly by talking, but also by receiving all other kinds of emotional and mental support, that EP will simply be connected to all the other parts and integrated into the system. It will simply be a bad memory.
- If we don’t have the opportunity to deal with it, we “box it up”. That means that part becomes dissociated. It takes on a life of its own. It will turn into the infamous skeleton in the closet. This is the actual psychological trauma that stays until this “exiled” part (in IFS terms) is welcomed back into the personality family (hence the internal family system name, details of exiles are available again here ).
In more complex cases of secondary and tertiary dissociation, these parts can literally take on some form of consciousness that goes far beyond that detailed above in a wide spectrum of experiences culminating with full-blown DID
Ok, I put these two together like this because I am hoping that it makes sense in this way, I hope it does 😁
Flashbacks and triggers, sadness and desolation
Ok, so these universally recognised parts that have experienced unrecognised trauma (if the traumatic event had been dealt with appropriately there would not be a dissociated part) sometimes will come to the attention of the mind. They will come into focus. This can then initiate the discovery process … blah blah … let’s talk about it experientially.
I have the host who has not experienced anything especially traumatic. Then I have a number of “parts” who do suffer from some kind of chronic sadness that can easily be defined as desolation. I wrote about them yesterday and this is an extract (do feel free to follow the link and upvote anytime 😁):
I think it is about providing companionship, at least that approach works well with us.
[…]
My young ones get huge bouts of depression. They will just be inconsolable. Each has their own personal flavour of sadness and loneliness that fluctuates between suicidal and rageful.
[…]
we find spending time with them, validating their pain helps. A lot of times we don’t talk. Just feel their suffering. Understand it. Live it with them.
[…]
We find a lot of us are willing to offer the company. Generally, those who have not had the same experiences will tend to be more inclined to put themselves forward.
I have mentioned in my answers before that I noticed a lot of multiplicities have a difficulty quantifying respect and devotion for their traumatised selves/alters/parts.
We are so grateful for their hurt and their suffering. And we are willing and able to share their pain with them and validate it.
TL;DR,
So, we looked at how our brains create slices of our selves when go through a traumatic event to store all the information, and how these parts become dissociated when it is not possible to deal with the trauma.
We identified that there are parts/selves of us who don’t experience trauma at all, or very little. And we also recognised that the traumatised parts need validation through expression.
We also established that some parts who have not experienced trauma feel a sense of duty and responsibility to their hurt selves.
Conclusion
So, maybe what we are doing is simply that. Sharing and validating our traumatised selves pain. It could be instinctive, or it could be that our selves hurting need to share …
Either way, we are made of flesh and forged by pain …
My inner selves, the ones who are hurt, tell us that while we are doing we are helping them heal and are very grateful! 💜
The way it works well for us is that those who are hurt are avoidant, but the others aren’t. I hope it makes sense. It is difficult to understand for people who have not understood trauma, and that includes the host. I wish you all the best on your healing journey 🙂💜
