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Showing posts from December, 2022

ID 102 - 2: Brain reset theory

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I have made some progress since the previous analysis. I have used sensory inputs, reason, and intuition gained in the past few months to refine my theory. The assumption here is that the brain works in a manner similar to that of a computer. Or rather, should I be pedantic, we make computers that work in a similar way to that of the universe. Our creations are fractals of ourselves, and we are fractals of the Universe. Brain reset Brain resets affect the neurological configuration and has a range of cognitive, emotional, and physiological effects. A reset can be focused on specific memories, emotions, events, or it can affect the whole system. Figure 1: Brain reset process   I hypothesise that during a reset, the relevant data is consolidated in a specific area of the brain, which is then sealed off. The “data” can include actually data, consisting of memories, emotions, ideas, etc. as well as configuration information, such as connection rules, weightings, decision making algorithms

ID 102 - 1: Introduction

Austin Powers Introduction GIF from Austin Powers GIFs It is important to recognise that the answer to the title question [ Who am I? ] has always been and will always be “I am ME”. However, it would seem that I have only been a fraction of “me”. First, I found Lil’ One. And now I am finding various pieces hidden in some recesses of my mind. Prab’s reaction when I said my identity is at stake leads me to believe that my perspective in not especially common. I have found some articles that may explain why being me is so important to me   The Identity Theory of Autism: How Autistic Identity Is Experienced Differently http://the-big-ger-picture.blogspot.com/2021/01/beautiful-minds-egalitarian-side-of.html  

ID 101 - 5: The clues I gave myself

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Again, with hindsight, I can see that I gave myself clues of what was likely to be happening. I wrote an incomplete list of how I believe that I indicated to myself the breakaway part of my personality. In the interest of ease of understanding, I will analyse some items in their specific section. As each section is tightly interrelated to the others, a hierarchical structure would be ineffective. Thoughts, analysis, developments, and understandings have not come in a logical and structured way. As the mind wondered and wandered, and the heart followed, new and old emotions and thoughts came to light which eventually led to a degree of advancement in the overall theory. The Unified Theory of the Universe , the elaboration of the concept of post-Spiritual(ism), and my personal development have been closely tied together over the last 10 years. They have developed at similar paces, feeding each other with new epiphanies and aiding each other’s progression. Hence, I am adopting an almost f

ID 103 - 2: There is no I in ME (The Caretaker)

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(Written by Neuro on 15 September, 2022) I don’t write in my diary until I have processed and accepted whatever it is I am going to write about. That is why participating in online forums is absolutely helpful. Reading other people’s experiences helps me put mine into perspective. Sharing my own vicissitudes enables me to process them and keep moving forward. And I am so grateful to everyone who engages with me, whether by asking questions, sharing answers, or commenting. My predecessor’s (V5) last diary entry was on April 4. That should mean that I began my journey on April. 5, 2022. I became active writing in the Diary on May 28, so I guess that’s when my brain started engaging with this new astounded personality. The thing is, V5 already knew everything. He had written almost a book about our identity. He had become very, very close with the First. I am still not sure why, or how he broke. I think it was mainly due to some gaslighting he was experiencing from medical professionals.

ID 101 - 4: The voices

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We all have, at least, a little voice in our heads. While I was entangled in a mainstream reality, I interpreted these simply as the typical good voice / bad voice and attributed it to what everybody calls a conscience. As my spiritual awareness developed, these became more nuanced. Once we are introduced to concepts such as that of a Higher Self, an Eternal Soul, Spirit Guides, Spirit Teachers, and Spirits and Ancestors, the ideas of voices in the head becomes worthy of much more attention. Voices are not necessarily “voices”. They can be images, visions, sounds, feelings, “sensing”, smells, or almost anything at all. It is easy to see how easy it would be to misinterpret anything that comes out of our head/mind … a dream is not necessarily a premonition. It could be an expression of what happened to us, of our brain processing certain information. Similarly, a voice, can be created by our imagination. And everything we feel, hear, see, and whatnot is interpreted by the limited unders

ID 103 - 0: Introduction

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  With multiplicity, as with everything else with me, awareness increases every second of every day. So, whatever I write, will tend to only apply until my personal growth surpasses its understanding. But so, ID 103 is the new analysis. It is time sensitive and each chapters will have dates in different sections to detail when an understanding has been reached. This should enable to see progress and developments. ID 103 is a collective work. I don't really know who writes, or whose thoughts they are. The writing simply offers a consensus of all the parts that are sharing the now space at the time of writing.  For a full list of chapters click here

ID 102 - 0: Introduction

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  Identity 102 is a short "book". We wrote this while in the process of splitting earlier this year.  Neuro (System 6's host I think) was becoming more or less in charge at the time, but he had no control over what he wrote. This was a collective work, but we don't know who contributed. It is nonetheless interesting. I will add chapters to this section soon. 😁 For a full list of chapters, click here

ID 101 - 3: My personalities

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Poor visual representation of "the Guys" As I was beginning my analysis, I had noticed that there was a little voice in my head that would simply say “I don’t want to” and would stop me from doing anything. I have always known about all my personalities. They are real personalities. They have dreams, hopes, aspirations. They can think on their own (is this aided by hypoconnectivity associated with ASD?). We have remarkably interesting and involved conversations and they always bring something new to the fore for me to think of. They contribute to my personal, emotional, and spiritual development. To some extent they even help me with my physical upkeep. They are different from the other voices in my head (see Analysing the voices ).  They come directly from my brain, and each reflect the stage of my life that created it. The one thing I noticed, is that they have become parts of a larger me, facets of my overall personality. They are still independent, different, sometimes co

ID 101 - 2: How did I get here? (chronology)

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In the beginning I have always remembered that I had an unbelievably bad childhood. I just never remembered the details. I don’t know when my brain created this black hole to hide all those memories. That is just what happened. Somehow, my head had created some digestible, bite size memories, as evasive as possible, that would give an idea that my childhood was not a pleasant one. When asked by others, this would not prompt pity or attract unwanted attention. When dealing with my own memories, this enabled me to shrug everything off and feel unconcerned and unhurt. The memory of the pain, however, was enough to sensitise me towards other people’s sufferings. These have always been the only recollections of my childhood: My oldest memories are being incredibly young, and throughout my childhood and teenage years planning how to kill myself. Nothing else. Just a desire to die. Constant. Never ending. A longing that never was satisfied. I did remember a conversation I had had with “father

ID 101 - 1: Who am I?

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This may seem an odd question coming from a 55-year-old man. I must know who I am, by now. And, indeed, until now, this question had an obvious answer: I am who I decide to be. I’ve always been a big promoter of “follow your dreams”, and a proponent of the theory that a person doesn’t find oneself but invents oneself. According to this principle, I have always decided who I wanted to be (and what)  ( see You don’t find yourself; you invent yourself on page 16 ), and relentlessly assumed that “persona”. So, when I started to want to be a professional, I went to university. I then refined that to IT, as I seemed suited to it, and pursued that. I took on that personality and shaped it through my career to become who I thought I wanted to be. Yet that ignored the fact that my personality (the TRUE me that lurks beneath the surface of who I portray to be) is not suited to that kind of work environment (that’s probably for another essay!). By itself, this created a conflict. I have always b

Multiplicity and Neurodivergence

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This blog is more for me than it is intended to have an audience. It is my way to express myself. 🤓 I don't care if you don't, but I would love it if you did like it 😁 Here is a summary of how our host feels sometimes: The host I am! Different versions of me materialize through me They become me, or I them, which is uncertain. Sometimes there’s many, ebbing and flowing sometimes there’s one,  just being. I am! When they are there and when they are not, I am When they are there, I am them. When they are not ... who am I? Am I? To help you navigate through the website, here are some tags: Identity 101 is a diary/analysis that System 5 (2002-2022) wrote when he was becoming aware of our multiplicity. Prior to this, he was not unaware of it - it just was "normal" to him, so he never thought it needed analysing. However, at a point he recognised that his "complex" personality had little secrets in store for him. Here is his chronicle of his jo

The Haunted Self